You Might Be a Fundamentalist if....
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (this is just for fun so please don't get all defensive)
1. You refer to the NIV as the Nearly Inspired Version.
2. You not only know what flannelgraph is but can identify it by its smell.
3. You're afraid that listening to the Gaithers might appeal to your flesh.
4. You just polished off two long johns and four cups of coffee in the pre-Sunday Scool fellowship time but you don't drink or smoke because your body is the temple of the the Holy Spirit.
5. You think your girlfriend's new coulots make her look hot.
6. You favorite author is Jack Chick.
7. Your mental image of Jesus has Him wearing a white robe with a blue sash.
8. You think John MacArthur is just too darn liberal.
9. Your upset by the fact that I just said darn.
10. You look for hidden 666 symbols in bar codes when you pick up products at the store.
Feel free to add your own in the comments log.
1. You refer to the NIV as the Nearly Inspired Version.
2. You not only know what flannelgraph is but can identify it by its smell.
3. You're afraid that listening to the Gaithers might appeal to your flesh.
4. You just polished off two long johns and four cups of coffee in the pre-Sunday Scool fellowship time but you don't drink or smoke because your body is the temple of the the Holy Spirit.
5. You think your girlfriend's new coulots make her look hot.
6. You favorite author is Jack Chick.
7. Your mental image of Jesus has Him wearing a white robe with a blue sash.
8. You think John MacArthur is just too darn liberal.
9. Your upset by the fact that I just said darn.
10. You look for hidden 666 symbols in bar codes when you pick up products at the store.
Feel free to add your own in the comments log.
posted by Heavy G at 10.4.06
7 Comments:
Your idea of comtemporary music isn't the Doobie Brothers, it's the Wesley brothers.
When someone comes to your house they think they've been instantly transported to 1953.
that is awesome Jeff. Here's one
Your idea of charismatic worship is drums and clapping.
I am rolling on the ground. Jeff your killing me.
Mike
You believe stuffy is a complement
You iron your blue jeans
-Peter Brown
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
You wear the same powder-blue suit every Sunday.
You keep a tally of every person you got to say the sinners prayer that day.
You think that every "Evil Christian group" looks like a hair band from the 80's.
You think that comfortable padded pews are just worldly pleasure.
You think that jesus spoke old English.
You won't use a grocery store club card because it's just like having a barcode on your forehead.
You know not to sit on pew 7 three seats from the left because that's where Wilbur and Eunice sit.
You don't think church funds should go to air conditioning because the little orange and olive-green hand held fans that Bessie knitted are just fine.
Wait, they didn't speak Old English in Bible times?
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